My friend was kind enough to give me these guiding questions to muse on. This is both a personal and a spirituality blog so I have no qualms sharing my personal growth and developments. Today, I tackle the subject of taking ownership and responsibility. Why? because in MY opinion, taking responsibility for ones self and actions in life is a key value in slavic polytheistic world view and values.
What does it mean for you to accept responsibility for yourself?
This is hard to answer I admit since I’m not really the most mature or self-aware person in this area. However, for me accepting responsibility for one’s self means the opposite of what I tend to do, which is being a victim.
My problem is, especially having a PD, I tend to whine and play the victim when people call me out over the fact I’ve done something wrong or inappropriate. Usually it will take me awhile to accept that I’m flawed and it’s not a sin to mess up sometimes. I take it really personally when I screw up and wallow in despair and self-pity. It’s pretty pathetic, however it’s a terrible feeling. One I don’t think people really understand sadly.
Taking responsibility means swallowing my pride and owning up to my mistakes. I can do that. Fixing them and NOT doing them again? that’s my challenge. That’s my flaw. I’m VERY impulsive and ADD. This is gonna take some (ok, a lot) work and therapy.
I also think taking responsibility means not relying so much for everyone’s help. I tend to have friends and family hold my hand through life and this weakens me. I’m trying to learn sometimes things are better left unsaid and should only be discussed with family. Ie. suicidal explosions and episodes. I’m not saying don’t get help. MY problem is when I need help? I let EVERYONE know. That’s BAD. It makes people uncomfortable and it’s really not a great idea to air your dirty laundry to every joe shmoe. Other than that, just relying on people in general for favors like driving me to school or work because I haven’t gotten my permit yet? Not self responsible.
This question was really difficult to answer. Boy howdy. I may come back to this one day as I’ve grown and changed, then add more to this.
Hearth Fire Hag 